Random Shallow Thoughts, 7.

Actors playing characters with mental disabilities that shouldn’t win Oscars.  Especially when they wear ngatung trousers. 

Real men never use their girlfriend’s birthday as a PIN number.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (namely

Vancouver

Canada

), my dad visited the family doctor after “di kerok” by my mom.  For a moment the doctor seriously thought my mom was quite handy with the whip. *whuppah!

I was a vegetarian for 8 months and gained 6 kilograms.  So yeah, Dr. Atkins had a point.

Yes, I realize buying pirated movies and music is wrong.  But after watching “MTV Cribs”, I simply stopped caring.  If you can sit on the toilet, press a button, and a 55” HDTV rises from your bathroom floor, you don’t need my rupiahs.

The smaller her dog, the more emotionally fragile she is.

You know you’ve been online too much when you say “How are you? Long time no visible!”

The only drummer worth marching to is your own.  Besides, Bonham croaked a while back, and that guy from Def Leppard lost an arm already.  Lets not even go into Spinal Tap..

If it says “berkhasiat”, it ain’t.  Especially when it claims to heal “dan lain lain”.  Sucka’!

Creating clothing that is simply unique is easy.  Creating clothing that sells is fairly easy.  Creating unique clothing that sells is bloody difficult.

Adi T. was right.  Steaming takoyaki and ice-cold teh upet pair perfectly.  Keep that in mind the next time you hit Carrefour.

If I ever form a band, I’m gonna call it “Pinkan Mambo and the Horizontal Poco-Poco’s”.

Ralph Schumacher.  Doesn’t he look more like a fashion designer than a race car driver?

Oh, really?  Well, I can pick apart *your* blog until your head spins so fast that I’d have to nailgun your thick cranium to the wall to make it stop.  But aside from the obscene throbbing pleasure it would give me in doing so, what good can come out of it?

When someone asks to offer his opinion, its safe to assume it will be a negative one.

I don’t care about money. I just care about what I can buy with it.

Wolverine?  Harvey Keitel or Fred Ward.  And Gabriel Byrne as Bruce Wayne.

Ever wondered why men’s shirts unbutton and open from the left side, and a women’s shirts the opposite way?  A man uses his right hand to draw his sword or gun from the left side of his belt, and a woman breastfeeds using the left breast as it is closest to her heart.  Men kill, women nurture.

So yeah, if you think about it, if women ruled the world, there would be no war.  We’d just have intense negotiations every 27 days or so.   Ehehehehehehe...

Nothing makes you step on the accelerator like Nine Inch Nails amped up to eleven.

Proof that George Lucas is Indonesian, #23: Count Dooku (Sith Lord / Fruit), Jawa People (little hooded people on Tatooine / The Superior Indonesian Race !Heil!), Han Solo (Harrison Ford / lots of slow-moving Jawa people reside here).

Ignoring my own moods is a herculean task.

Indonesia

has no public libraries.  Well, neither do a lot of other developing countries (we say “developing”, they say “third world”).  But the difference is, they probably don’t have as many malls as we do.

If your boyfriend’s eyes never, ever wander, be prepared to face the fact that he’s actually gay.  I’m dead serious on this.

And if all this time you thought its because his eyes were only on you, well it looks like someone is in for a big surprise.  :P

Tibetan Buddhist Humor: “Last week I blew a thousand bucks for a seminar on reincarnation.  Hey, I figure we only live once!”

If you build it, Teh Botol vendors will come. 

Proof that George Lucas is Indonesian, #46: Adegan crystals (essential for lightsabres), Sinar Industries (built the X-Wings), Mace Windu (that really loud black guy from Pulp Fiction).

When things go horribly wrong, why is it that God’s name is usually the first to be mentioned?

There is a good reason why you hear the term “lakor” more often than “binor”.  Not that men are immune, but we consider it shameful.  So no, you won’t hear men gabbing over cosmopolitans on how “cewek gue lagi banyak masalah ama suaminya, and besides, I’m a much better man for her...”

So yeah, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: “Why do women talk about "sisterhood" so much?  Because deep down, they know they'd backstab and  walk over each other when the opportunity presents itself.”

When a guy who compliments your eyes, chances are he doesn’t mean it.

Unless you happen to be Audrey Tatou.  And if you actually are, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.  Ouii, mon cherie.. oh ouuiii…

Don’t drink and SMS.

To truly have faith means to never think it is necessary to explain it.  Especially to ignorant philistines like me.

There is nothing more pathetic than a white guy who pretends to be Balinese.  An udeng on your noggin and a Made by your name does not a local make.  So pack your barong shirt and fly back to

New Jersey

.

Yes, I have t.A.T.u. on heavy rotation in my iPod.  There, I said it.  Pfffft.

Comments

[Reza]

happy new year bro'

[Hera]

Hi. Brilliant ranting. Absolutely agree with the point about sisterhood.

Keep it coming! (The random thoughts, not the sisterhood thingy)

[Tutut]

Hi..hi....

Happy New Year Om :-))

[Reza]

hey you're not allowed to say "disabilities" anymore. the word is "challenges"

[Reza]

you were a vegetarian? what a wuss

[Reza]

Aloha and welcome to Hawaii. Now go home.